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Which is why I feel compelled to tell my story of what NOT to write in order to find a mate -- or just a date. Look happy, look fun, look exotic if you want, but the picture you post should be engaging and reflect you. Sometimes the pictures people put up look like they just came out of prison.I know it’s tough out there, and I know, it’s easier for men than women. Take it for what’s it worth -- free advice from one on the other end. First, ignore any overture that isn't polite and genuine and well-written. That's just some lazy slob who probably can’t write or has decided you are not worth the time to write. Second: Put some honest effort into picking your pictures. If you can't take or own three nice, normal pictures of yourself, then either you have no friends or you’re just lazy or you don't care. I auto skip anyone with only one picture no matter how beautiful. Also be honest -- don’t post pictures that will disappoint in real life. Don't put up three photos where you look great and one photo where you look like you slept with pigs in a haystack the whole night with the caption..." I slept in a haystack all night!) — but the point here is just to give you […] Read more When you come to an online dating site you’re, clearly, hoping to meet people.The nature of the system, in a manner of speaking, can put you in competition with other people who are also trying to meet people. Online dating chat room: If you could would you want to see, Do you ever check to see how good youra**looks?

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Which is why -- I have a sister after all -- I want to be honest about what works and what doesn’t from a guy who genuinely likes women. I skip anyone whose photo is of them standing in the bathroom shooting themselves in the mirror with their i Phone. When people see you in person they should be thinking that you are as lovely as your picture -- or even lovelier. "I think its cool (sort of) you slept in a hay stack, but if you look like crap in the picture, I'm going to assume that you will look like crap if we ever end up in the haystack together. Do not write “I am a sexually confident woman” unless you want to be with guys who are submissive or guys who think they are more sexually confident and can’t wait to show you. Write what YOU want, not what you think someone else wants. Rather than opting for the expected dinner out, try staying in and cooking your own meal together. Check out local cooking classes in your area rather than opening up your home to a stranger.

And yes, as “mean” as that sounds, appearances matter. Do not pick sex kitten pictures but in your profile write how you want only a serious relationship. You can BE sexually confident, but don't write that -- you'll just attract weirdoes. Somehow, I don't think that 85 percent of women in the online dating world would really choose watching Sunday football and baseball on TV as a favorite activity, but apparently they do.