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In this article I am going to call it “dating” and define it as “the process of finding a spouse.” I do not claim to be an expert: I realize that many varying opinions about dating float around Christian circles jumping over each other, getting mixed together, and consuming some people. You wish it could happen soon but it completely freaks you out. Some people call this dating, other people call it courting — there are likely countless terms you could use for the process.My son and one girl seem to gravitate towards each other and I haven’t really tackled this. we cling to the idea, although the world has moved on without it, I’m afraid.It seems harmless enough, but I feel like I need to have a more thoughtful approach to the advice my husband and I give, and the rules. Or rather, it means something very different from what we’d like it to mean.Dear Auntie Leila, I have a bunch of kids, the oldest two are 16 and 14.The oldest attends public school and thankfully, has not had a weekend social life with his classmates yet.Model Healthy Relationships Being a good role model to our kids as we interact with our spouses and others is the first step toward ensuring they’ll develop healthy connections as teens and adults, Ponton and Brown say.Enforcing rigid gender stereotypes or engaging in harmful relations ourselves can set our kids up for relationship woes later on.

Because of the generation I belong to with all its craziness, I know how very far from that context things went.

We caught up with two local experts on teen relationships and sexuality and asked for their tips on setting guidelines for kids entering the dating game.

Lynn Ponton, University of California San Francisco professor of adolescent psychiatry and author of The Sex Lives of Teenagers and The Romance of Risk, and Nancy Brown, a developmental psychologist and education projects manager for Palo Alto Medical Foundation, both agree: Parents should set the stage for safe dating long before their child becomes a teen.

I do not intend to defend a certain set of rules, or refute any.

Neither will I pretend like I have the best advice, since I am not even married.